About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize