Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
