yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
