he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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