We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
