she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
