What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
