I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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