He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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