Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
