omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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