My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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