How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
