Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
