Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
