Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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