Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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