My sheets look like a crime scene.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
