That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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