you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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