we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
