mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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