I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
