so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
