so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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