I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
