its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
