dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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