My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
