My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
