I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
