just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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