You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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