So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
