There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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