Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
