Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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