I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
