i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
