i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
