shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
