I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
