It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
