u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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