Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
