i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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