if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
