Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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