If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
