If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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