fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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