Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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