your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have demons in me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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