I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
