so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
