You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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