he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
