i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
