Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
