Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
