If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
