It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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