Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize