I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
