1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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