I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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