Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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