I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize