you're like a bully in the Christmas story
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
