i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize