I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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