She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
