yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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