ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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