so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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