Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize